


I'll find you

by LadyBardock



Series: Single Shots [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Art, M/M, Painting, Prophetic Dreams, Psychic Abilities, Soul-Searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 15:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6859780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBardock/pseuds/LadyBardock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili has been special all his life. He saw ghosts all his life, surrounded by tender love of his family. He's been searching for answers... and slowly the answers come to him. And a promise from the only person he really wanted. The other part of his soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll find you

Fili had always been a loner. Raised by his grandmother and uncle, in a house full of old furniture and even older stories. Thorin never really was home, so it was just him and grandma on a daily basis. And everything else that lived in their house.

As a child Fili had no idea why everyone thought his mother and father were dead, when in fact he would see them every day.  Why Thorin ignored grandpa Thror smoking the pipe in the house, or why he never talked to grandpa Thrain. It took him a long time realise that not everything people actually said, or wanted to say, and that he could tell someone’s bad intentions just from one glance at them.

“Why does uncle ignore them?” He asked his grandma one day.

“He rejects reality.” She replied slowly. “Seeing does not mean he understands or believes.”

“But they are real...” Fili complained.

“They are, but he doesn’t think so, and most of the world agree that these things do not exist.” Grandma explained.

“But he can see them?” Fili demanded.

“He could if he wanted to.” She admitted. “He was gifted, just like you are and your mom was.” She replied.

“Does uncle use his ability at all?” He mused.

“Why do you think his business is doing so great?” She asked with a huge grin. “He might not use it consciously, but deep down he knows things and feels things.”

\------

“It’s only going to be you and me now.” Thorin’s strong voice sounded hollow.

Fili gazed up to his uncle and to all the family around the coffin, his grandma standing there included. She was waving at him and smiling.

“It’s never just you and me.” He told Thorin in a strong voice.

\-------

“You should study more.” His mother’s voice echoed in his room countless times as he was maturing and finishing high school. He dreaded going away from home and being alone. Or it wasn’t the being alone part, it was the unknown world. Being away from his family.

“Take care of the house.” He told them as they were seeing him off on the doorstep.

“Fili we have to go!” Thorin’s voice was irritated.

He wished the house and the family goodbye and rushed to the car.

\-----

“I still don’t get why you want to study in London and not New York, and don’t give the bullshit that it’s better...I googled it.” Thorin grunted angrily.

“I love you uncle, but I need to learn to live independently.” Fili told him slowly.

“But why a normal dorm? You could live in my flat...” Thorin hissed.

“It’s too far away.” Fili hissed back.

“Fuck fine!” Thorin grunted, as they drove to the airport.

\-----

Seeing the house which was his dorm, Fili for a second regretted, it was a bit too old, and the older the house the more inhabited it was...

“Let’s take a look since we drove all the way to get here...” Thorin didn’t even try to pretend he approved of this.

“Let’s.” Fili nodded and pulled his bag out of the car.

“Are you sure?” Thorin asked yet again, as Fili began unpacking his things in the dorm.

“I’m sure.” Fili nodded.

“Well if you change your mind, Balin has keys to my flat.” Thorin hissed yet again.

“Do you mind if I actually buy a car?” Fili asked.

“Do whatever you want, within reason.” Thorin wasn’t really happy.

“Within reason.” Fili nodded happily.

“You’re happy?” Thorin asked solemnly.

“I’m happy.” Fili confirmed.

“That’s all I need to know.” Thorin left him with a light heart.

\-----

“Hey!” A loud knock on the door startled Fili as he was trying to get organised in the cosy room.

“Hi?” He opened the door to see someone so crazy it was insane. The boy had crazy red hair going all directions and a tattoo climbing his neck.

“I’m Nori, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” The boy held his hand with a grin.

“Fili!” He nodded with a smile.

“Have you taken a look around?” The boy grinned. “Come and meet the crazy crew here!”

Fili met all the house mates, Ori, the red head’s younger brother, Dain, Bofur and Bifur.

“On the bottom floor we got Gimli, Legolas, Eomer and twins Ro and Dan. The kitchen is downstairs, and we got three bathrooms to share.” Nori explained how it worked. “This room is the common room, so it’s basically the place where we drink beer, watch TV and play around.”

“Don’t be surprised to see three girls feel here at home. Legolas’s sister practically lives here, Eowyn also spends a lot of time here, so does Arwen.” Bofur added. “Not that we mind, the food on those days is pretty damn good.”

“Do you cook?” Dain asked thinking of something.

“Yes, I can cook.” Fili admitted.

“You’ll regret saying it!” Bofur joked.

“I don’t mind cooking, but you guys do the shopping.” Fili made them realise.

“So what do you study?” Nori glared at him.

Fili suddenly felt a wave of emotions. And suddenly he realised they made a bet about him. Deep down there were no ill emotions, these people surprisingly honest.

“Painting and Contemporary Art Practise.” Fili confessed.

The red head laughed. “Fine Art Research!”

“Lucky bastards!” Bofur grinned. “You’ll be able to share some classes!”

“What about you guys?” Fili asked them.

“ Critical and Historical Studies!” Ori smiled.

“We’re studying Jewellery and Metal.” Bofur grinned.

“Gimli, Legolas and Eomer are architecture students.” Nori added.

“What about you?” Fili asked the silent Dain.

“Digital Media.” Dain admitted slowly.

\------

Fili got on with them easily. They were good people, and soon they became honesty friends. Fili did not mind cooking at all, he loved good food, but soon he realised he had three very keen helpers. The girls almost lived there, staying there all day. Tauriel smitten with the crude Dain, who was blind and hated her. It took him also a while to realise they had two couples in the house. Bofur and Nori were discrete, so much so that most of the house did not realise what was going on. Legolas and Gimli were still on the getting to know each other phase, fighting all the time and clashing. Sexual tension building up, until one day it would blow and make them realise what they feel.

He felt at ease there. The house calm, the people honest and straight forward. Not like many people at his former school, trying to use him or his money and status. Here they had no idea about his uncle’s fortune or his family. He was just another person living in one dorm.

When Christmas came and it was evident most of them were not going home, Fili made the call and decided to stay as well. Nori and Ori were sad and silent. Fili could see the shade of a silent grey haired person in the corner gazing at them with worry. A father?

_‘Brother.’ The whisper was gentle. Fili gazed at the strong man._

“Why are you sad?” Fili asked them gently.

“It’s our first Christmas without him.” Ori had tears in his eyes.

“What happened?” Fili asked gently.

“A car accident.” Nori grunted slowly.

“I’m sorry.” Fili admitted.

“What about you?” Nori realised Fili was all alone.

“Just my uncle left in my family.” Fili admitted slowly.

“What about Tauriel and Legolas?” Fili was surprised they stayed.

“They had some kind of fight with their father, they stayed here last year as well.” Ori whispered to him.

Fili saw the tall beautiful red head woman stand behind Tauriel often and he was pretty sure it was her mother. She was watching over her, just like Nori’s and Ori’s brother.

‘ _Dori.’ A whispered added the information he needed._

‘ _Where is your brother?’ The whisper startled him._

_‘I have no brother.’ He answered telepathically._

_‘Oh but you do.’ The voice of the grey haired man answered. ‘You just forgot about him.’_

\------

_‘A brother?’ Fili mused looking at the ceiling and trying to focus._

_‘You would have had a brother...’ His mother’s voice answered. ‘If I had lived longer...’_

_‘You were expecting?’ Fili asked her tenderly._

_‘I was... just a few weeks along. He would have been five years younger than you.’ She added._

_Fili felt the tears gather in the corner of his eyes. ‘Just because he died with me it doesn’t mean you will never meet him.’_

_‘What do you mean?’ Fili asked her sadly._

_‘He has lived, just like you have, and he will live again.’ She petted his hair gently. ‘Do you want to meet him?’_

_‘I’d love to!’ Fili replied eagerly._

_‘Erebor. Go to Erebor!’ She ordered him and she was gone._

\-----

Fili kept drawing and all his drawings were praised by everyone.

“You really do have talent!” Gimli loved his drawings.

But there was one sketchbook Fili never showed anyone. His special sketchbook. He had portraits of his family, Dori, Tauriel’s mother and many other people he encountered. It brought him relief.

\-----

One day Nori came out to him and told him to sit down.

“I got a job offer...” Nori told him slowly.

“So why don’t you take it?” Fili knew Nori had been searching for a job in art for a long time and now the idea that he was rejecting it? Fili was flooded with bad emotions, loss, and uncertainty.

“Why are you scared?” Fili asked him.

“It’s not a job I can do.” Nori pulled his legs closer showing vulnerability like never before.

“What do you mean?” Fili asked but he knew. He saw a flash of Nori, a much younger Nori in a dark solemn place.

“I was in juvenile.” Nori had tears in his eyes. “So the moment they would hire me...”

“Nori...” Fili gently embraced him. “You deserve a good job.”

“You have no idea what I’ve done...” Nori began crying opening all his defences completely. Fili saw his very soul. He saw the pain and the things that led to so much desperation in Nori’s life. He felt the burning hunger, the tears... He saw what he did. He felt the pain of regret.

“You did nothing that deserves a life time of punishing yourself...” Fili told him.

“Take the job!” Nori pushed the papers at him.

“You can always talk to me... but you should really talk to Bofur...” Fili gently told him.

He saw terror in Nori’s eyes. Terror of realization.

“Why did you say that?” Nori grabbed his head. “Why did I tell you all that?” Nori’s eyes were wide.

“Your secret is safe with me.” Fili gently took his hand. “I’m your friend.”

Nori gazed at him stunned. “If you ever tell anyone...”

“I won’t. But you should talk to Bofur, he really loves you.” Fili told him.

“He doesn’t love me, we just fuck.” Nori hissed.

“He loves you.” Fili told him firmly.

“Who cares...” Nori grimaced, but Fili deep down knew Nori was delighted to hear that. “Take the job!” He added and left swiftly.

\-----

Fili glanced at the job offer. And suddenly he felt a huge push to take the job. He could do his job with ease. So he did. It was just like drawing the dead. It was so much like what he did at university.

At first he had a supervisor who watched him work, but Gandalf quickly told him he was too good to watch him more. So Fili began working alone.

Drawing was easy for him, his gift giving him the ease. The dead he could see, the alive he could see in their heads. So he just sat there pretending he was listening, while deep inside he knew what he was drawing. He often knew who he was drawing.

“Great job!” He kept getting praised for the skilled drawings.

\------

“Erebor?” He said it out loud, but no map showed it to him.

“Erebor.” He said it again.

Feeling a sudden need he pulled out his phone and called his uncle.

“This better be good...” Thorin grunted.

“What is Erebor?” Fili demanded.

“Erebor?” Thorin hissed.

Fili felt a wave of emotion, like he never felt from his uncle. Uncontrolled wild anger mixed with pain.

“Erebor is gone.” Thorin answered.

“Where was it?” Fili demanded.

“Who told you about it?” Thorin went on persecution, trying to find perpetrator.

“Mom did.” Fili replied honestly. “In a dream.”

“Ask her then!” Thorin put down the phone angrily.

\-----

Fili gazed at the phone puzzled. And laid down in his bed. He heard a knock.

“May I come in?” Bofur’s voice sounded low for a chance.

“Of course...” When Bofur sat down Fili felt he was angry at something or someone.

And he was a bit tipsy. “How is it that such a handsome man like you hasn’t gone on a date since you moved here?” He sat on the bed with confidence.

It took Fili a moment to realise what he was feeling, arousal, anxiety, worry and anger. Bofur was hitting on him. There was some spite in him, anger directed to him.

“Bofur, what’s bothering you?” Fili asked him gently.

“Bothering me?” The man was stunned.

“Why are you angry with Nori?” Fili pinpointed the source.

“Who said anything about Nori?” Bofur was angry.

“Nori... you two fell out and now you’re taking it all on me.” Fili pointed out.

“What the fuck are you talk about?” Bofur was grim.

“He loves you...” Fili said calmly.

“Then why the fuck did he push me away?” Bofur let go.

“Because he’s scared.” Fili made him realise. “You love him too... you’re just both too chicken to go along with it.”

“What are you? A fucking psychic?” Bofur sniggered just to shut up and gaze at him with wide eyes.

“He loves you...” Fili repeated. “Just go to him... he really wants you to come to him and sooth his pain...”

Bofur gazed at him one last time, and he ran.

\------

 _‘Mom where is Erebor?’_ He asked time after time in his head but there was no answer.

_‘Erebor is home...’ A voice answered._

_‘Home...’ Fili mused and he saw it. He saw mines in the mountains. He saw people, with red hair and dark hair wearing kilts. He saw a mountain,  he saw a castle. He saw a war. He felt the pain of a sword going deep into his gut._

_‘Fili!’ A voice strong and full of terror sounded. ‘Don’t die on me brother!’ He felt warm arms go around him, he saw the worry in those deep dark orbs he loved so much. ‘Don’t die...’ He saw the tears on his face. And then he saw the axe from behind his back..._

He woke up sleepily feeling a huge pain in his abdomen. But there was nothing there. He reached for his special sketchbook and began drawing. The only face he could ever love.

He began drawing, and with everyone stroke of pencil the face could be seen. His brother’s face. The beautiful strong jaw, dark wavy hair and deep dark eyes. His brother.

He quickly began drawing the place, remembering every detail as if it was yesterday. He continued drawing. Then something hit him. Those people, they were all Scottish. Gimli was from Scotland. He ripped the drawing.

\-----

He found Gimli, and placed the drawing. “I recently been watching a few films and well I drew this... do you know where it is?” He asked.

Gimli gazed at him suspiciously. There was more silence recently in the house Fili suddenly realised.

“It’s Erebor.” Gimli replied with ease. “Or what it looked like when it was still standing.”

“Can you tell me the location?” Fili asked gently.

“It’s near the town of Dale. It used to be a great fortress, with the King under the Mountain ruling half of Scotland.”  Gimli told him. “I wonder where you’ve seen it. It’s been in ruin for over five centuries now, and there are no pictures of what it looked like.”

“How did you know this is Erebor?” Fili asked him slowly.

“That’s the Erebor in my dreams.” Gimli admitted. “My family comes from that area.”

“Thank you.” Fili nodded.

“So Bofur was right, you are a psychic?” Gimli asked slowly.

“Not really.” Fili shrugged, the conviction in Gimli was so strong there was no point denying it.

\-----

Fili bought himself a car, an ordinary Vauxhall. He drove all the way, trying to ease his mind. Trying to get rid of the strange feeling deep in his bones.

In Dale it was easy to get guidelines towards the old ruins so Fili drove on.

“I’m sorry Sir but this is private property.” A security guard tried to shoo him away. The man was huge. And Fili had a sudden flash back, but the bald head back then was covered with tattoos. Soon a name came back from the depths. _‘Dwalin.’_

“I know, it belongs to me.” Fili told him easily.

“Who are you?” The man demanded.

Fili handed him his ID. “I’m Fili Oakenshield.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Oakenshield.” The man opened the gate and let him in.

Fili left his car and decided to walk to the castle. _But it wasn’t just a ruin. In his eyes he saw the walls up tall, the banners on the walls. He saw the men. He could smell the horses._

_‘Welcome back my prince.’ A man looking a lot like Bofur greeted him._

_‘All hail the prince of Erebor!’ A soldier greeted him._

_‘Fili!’ He saw Gimli rush to him. A Gimli in a kilt from the past._

_‘Welcome prince of Erebor!’ Legolas’s warm voice greeted him._

_‘Sister-son!’ A strong voice he knew all too well called out to him._

_‘Uncle Thorin!’ He greeted the man coming to him._

_‘Welcome home!’ He was embraced tightly._

_‘Where have you been brother?’ A strong voice echoed. ‘I was getting worried!’_

_‘I’ve come home to all of you!’ Fili replied._

_‘It’s so good to see you again! I love you brother!’ The strong arms were embracing him tightly._

_‘I love you too Kili!’ He replied with ease._

_‘Welcome home!’ Kili’s voice rang in his ears yet again. ‘Now you can wake up, before you give poor Dwalin a heart attack!’ There was laughter and joy in his voice. ‘I’ll find you...’_

\-----

“Are you okay Sir?” Strong arms where shacking him.

“I’m fine Dwalin...” He assured the man.

“How did you know my name?” The man was stunned.

“I’m a son of Durin.” Fili added as an explanation.

“Indeed it seems you are.” The man admitted and with ease lifted him to the car.

\-----

_‘I’ll find you...’ Those words kept echoing in his mind._

Fili had to wait six more years for him. He finished painting studies, continued working for the police, but now in New York. He would get the most difficult sketch jobs and even Thorin was proud of him in a way. He waited. He took up a teaching job at Parson’s College, and waited. No more visions of Erebor came, no clues. Nothing.

So he waited on end. Helplessly looking out for those dark locks he loved so much, for those deep dark eyes.

When he did he did not recognise him. He was sitting in the back frantically drawing something. Huge energy radiating from him.

When he looked up Fili noticed with slight surprise that his eyes seemed darker now. But the longer he knew the crew, and fate made sure to meet many people from the past, the more he noticed there were changes in all of them.

Kili’s eyes were darker now, almost pitch black. His hair was more curly and wild. But it was still him.

He did not remember, was his second conclusion. As Killian, because that was his name now, gave in works, asked for advice and guidance, he would seem stunned and shy. Reserved even. He did not believe in his own talent. And the most Fili tried to assure him, the more the boy was shy.

Fili gazed at the boy painting like crazy surprised to see so much energy and emotion in him. He smiled as he watched him. It was late in the afternoon and the building was practically empty.

“If you ever deny you have talent again, I’m going to personally knock some sense into you.” He joked. The boy jumped and tried to hide the painting.

“Beautiful!” He praised again hearing no reaction from the boy.

“I keep dreaming of this place...” The boy admitted shyly.

“Erebor.” Fili prompted.

“Erebor.” The boy confirmed. “So that’s its name...” He mused with a coy smile.

Fili saw the blush, and the shy gaze to the floor, and he felt his heart melt with tenderness.

“I found you.” The words that left the boy’s lips were a surprise to both of them.

“You found me.” Fili gently embraced him finally feeling at peace.

 


End file.
